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You are here: Home / Blog

Courage to be YOU

December 31, 2016 by Heidi Frye

Amidst the seasonal hubbub, a dear friend invited me to a holiday concert featuring soprano soloist  and new acquaintance Diane Penning, as well as a local choir group. Wanting to experience Diane’s music, I surrendered to the commitment – it was certainly a “plop” in the middle of my last-weekend-before-Christmas-to-get-things-done stress – and said “yes”. The venue, St. Andrew’s Cathedral, was beautiful. We settled into our fourth row seats for an hour of Christmas music (after all…how many school concerts had I endured? I could do one more…). As the choir began, I was surprised and moved by how incredibly beautiful they sounded (jaded by too many school concerts??). And, they were interesting to watch! One woman in particular stood out to me, singing v-e-r-y enthusiastically – swaying, gyrating, head bobbing to the beat. I chuckled at how out-of-place and silly she looked. My gaze left her and surveyed the rest of the choir. But there was something that drew me back to her. I was fascinated. And then the oddest thing happened. A tear slide down my face. And then another. And another. Had the music broken through my holiday-stress armor? …what else could it be? No, It was something about that woman. I suddenly saw her beauty! Oh my gosh, it is her unbridled, unabashed, unapologetic sense of who she was! She was joyfully, confidently, proudly, sharing her joy. She had the courage to be authentically herself!

Countless leadership annals point to the link between courage and authenticity. The Grossman Group refers to it as quiet courage versus Rambo Courage – “a courage that comes from deep inside”. Forbes contributor Tardanico sites how “courageous leaders” are in short supply, and how necessary they are in modern-time work-place stress. John Terry’s book title alone points to the correlation, Authentic Leadership – Courage in Action. Harvard Business Review’s author, Bill George, in his article Discovering Your Authentic Leadership, gives us good news…anyone can learn to be an authentic leader.  “Authentic leaders…work hard at developing self-awareness through persistent and often courageous self-exploration.”

In the same HBR article the author makes a case that authentic leadership is the reason behind sustained long-term results(!).  Even if short-term gains are achieved, minus authenticity, sustained long-term success is not possible. So my question to you is: Do you have the courage to be you?! Do you have the courage to lead authentically from that quiet place within…leading confidently, joyfully, proudly, and maybe even sharing your joy. I am grateful to the out-of-place, silly looking, beautiful woman who had the courage to be her authentic self…inspiring me to do the same. To be me.

 

 

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Personality Tagged With: authentic leader, Authenticity, courage, Diane Penning, holiday concert, leadership, long-term results, soprano, St. Andrew's Cathedral

Unexpected Leadership [Canoe Leadership Series – #3 of 3]

November 29, 2016 by Heidi Frye

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Unexpected Leadership #3 of 3  (Part #1: Serving Others over Individual Motivation; Part #2: Empathy in leadership is a big deal)

We witnessed fantastic displays of leadership during our Canoe Leadership Event. Leaders stepped up in a variety of ways, ways I had not anticipated! One of the elements built into the event was “leadership points”, to be awarded to individual contributors during the debrief.  Our winner was a very unlikely recipient….

One of the “canoers” (btw, auto-correct does not like any form of this word!) who had been in a near-drowning accident as a child was deathly afraid of water, but because the river was so shallow (and everyone promised “good behavior”!) the participant relented and joined in after all. Having no experience in a canoe, not surprisingly, this particular canoer arrived at the first stopping point, dead last. Undeterred, they paddled on. Then the fatal moment…the canoe caught on a branch and tipped over (!!!) – October 2nd – in the chilly Michigan river…YIKES!  Unfortunately, the river had gotten the best of this afraid-of-water-never-been-in-a-canoe canoer. Given the temp and soaking wet clothes, the logical choice was to call the canoe livery staff for a mid-trip pick-up. 🙁

After changing into dry clothing, the canoer became visibly upset at the idea of facing the rest of the team…”I’m so embarrassed because I’m the only one who couldn’t/didn’t finish”. Finally, after some coaxing, the canoer did in fact join the group.

It was time to assign leadership points. The only direction I gave was to “assign your points to the person (other than yourself) who displayed leadership (of any kind) most impressive/impactful to you individually“. We heard everything from “…pulled my canoe in so I could stay dry” to “…started out with a fantastic attitude that was contagious” to “…was patient and instructed me on steering the canoe”. I asked the high-scorers to stand in the front of the room. We had a great group before us! In an attempt to identify the winner (they were all winners, right?), I asked leaders with lower scores to take their seats. One by one, the leaders sat down. The last person standing (who earned the most peer-assigned leadership points) was the person mentioned above, the one who had not finished the trek! This was a loud-and-clear testament to the significance of this unexpected leadership trait!! People were most impressed by this canoer’s courage – the courage to take part in the event and push past an overwhelming fear; the courage to come back after tipping (!); and the courage to stand before peers after perceived “poor performance”. Well done.

Unexpected leadership….on the river, in a canoe.

Filed Under: Communication, Leadership, Life, Teamwork, Uncategorized Tagged With: leadership; canoe event; Raw Leadership; courage; leadership trait; leaders; teamwork

Empathy in leadership is a big deal (Canoe Leadership – #2 of 3)

November 11, 2016 by Heidi Frye

Rogue River

Canoe Leadership #2  (Click here for Part #1)

Our “Canoe Leadership Event” was held on the Rogue River in Rockford, Michigan (thank-you AAA Canoe Livery!) – 2+ hours canoeing, food, and a hearty debrief afterward.  Thirty people, 14 canoes, and 2 kayaks. The scenery was gorgeous – fall leaves just beginning to turn. The sun streaming through the trees. A peacefulness that was palpable…breathtaking! Once in the canoes and on the river, the team couldn’t help but get in the groove. Despite the initial challenges, everyone was in flow…chilled out, connected, motivated, energized, having fun…well, for the first two-thirds of the river anyway, which was narrow, shallow, “twisty” – interesting. The last third however, was less so – wide, with l-o-n-g stretches of nothingness. Almost overwhelming when you’re tired.

One of my favorite moments during the debrief was a comment, an aha, from one of the higher-level leaders who talked about how grueling it was on that last stretch. How it took every ounce of energy to get to the endpoint. And just before the last bend, with no end in sight, how exhausted he was (remember the competitiveness from the last excerpt?! Paddling at breakneck speeds!). In that final stretch, most of the group felt a rush of “I-give-up-when-is-this-going-to-end-ness?”. He wasn’t alone.

This was a perfect metaphor for their business. This company has been growing exponentially. They have a seasonal business, and the holidays are crazy-insane. The regular pre-season business has eclipsed the previous year’s seasonal business! No letting up!!

Sometimes it is difficult for leadership to understand/identify with/“feel” what employees are going through. Empathy in leadership is a big deal. Employees are willing to go the extra distance, especially when leadership recognizes the obstacles and can empathize with (and cheer on!) extra effort. But leaders are often unable to connect to this trait. The leaders canoeing definitely did. The toughest part of the journey, the last leg, was their “seasonal business”, when they were expected to paddle harder and faster than ever. They got it, the leadership team understood first hand what the team feels like during their peak season. So right then and there, during the debrief, the group did some problem-solving and came up great ideas to help the team get/feel that sense of accomplishment along the way – adding milestones, progress indicators, and increased communication.

How can you tap into your leadership empathy?

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Motivation, Teamwork, Uncategorized Tagged With: AAA Canoe Livery, canoe, empathy, employee disengagement, go the extra distance, leaders leadership, leadership event, Rogue River

Leadership Attribute: Serving Others over Individual Motivation [The Raw Leadership Experience™ – Canoe Leadership] 

October 26, 2016 by Heidi Frye

 

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Last October, I ended up having an amazing outing with a client company, but that is NOT how it started. The originally scheduled mid-August outing had been rescheduled for October 2nd. Granted, Michigan is beautiful in October, but our outing involved canoes and water. Different perspective. For anyone not familiar with the Midwest, it can be pretty chilly mid-October, and Mother Nature did not disappoint. At 10:00 a.m. 30 leaders gathered to climb into canoes for a 2-hour paddle, to be followed by a (hopefully DRY) debrief. There was a Plan B, but my intuition said this group needed to experience this river on this day to learn the lessons they were supposed to learn on their leadership journey, and below is the first.

#1 of 3-part series

Faces were grim. People were visibly irritated. Standing in the parking lot for the Leadership Canoe Outing kick-off, it was evident the vibe was less than positive. I was determined to stay upbeat despite the group’s mood – it was barely 50 degrees, the wind was pretty kicked up, and teeth were already chattering. I had a brief “what was I thinking?” moment but quickly dismissed it…onward! What was waiting for them was an elaborate customized course I had set up along the river involving stopping points, elaborate instructions, a competitive element, switching canoes, new partners at each stop (the new partner list to be discovered!), and leadership lessons galore.

To my surprise, a few (very high-ranking and competitive!!) leaders took the liberty of looking at the roster in advance, finding their partners, and getting situated at the starting point for a little competitive advantage. “Ready, set, go!” Needless to say, those first-in-the-water leaders were quickly way ahead of the pack! Three canoes in particular were in the lead, fighting it out for the top spot. Paddling furiously. What they had neglected to realize was that there was no “top spot”. Because they would have new partners at the first switch-point (individuals who had not yet arrived!!). They would end up having to stop… wait… and as it turned out… wait some more. The canoer’s in the last-to-arrive canoe ended up being partnered with the leaders in the first-to-arrive canoe!  The debrief (and the ensuing aha) was priceless!

The first leaders to arrive at Switch-point #1 talked about how exhilarating it had been to be in the lead… adrenaline pumping, competitive juices flowing, eagerness and anticipation, only to hit a brick wall. When it dawned on them that they would have to switch canoes and partners their momentum was completely gone. Deflated, they sat and waited. And waited. Demotivated. Disheartened. Disappointed. Watching others come and go. And yet, REAL LIFE. It is not uncommon during an exciting run of work-place momentum, to have to stop and wait for others to catch up/get it/get on board. What we do in those moments defines us and our leadership. Fortunately these leaders ultimately made a great choice. I saw them (admirably) switch gears, re-prioritize, and patiently put the needs of the other canoers ahead of their own while they waited – helping stragglers en route – instructing, connecting, cheering, and even getting in the very cold water to pull canoes to shore! But they felt it. They felt how easy it was to let their competitive juices get the better of them, allowing them to forget their followers.

During the debrief, one of my favorite aha’s was that although they had not crossed the finish line first, they stated that they had ultimately won (!!). “Their people” expressed how truly touched and impressed they were by the Servant Leadership these leaders displayed. On that chilly October day, they gained a few more followers…on the river, in a canoe.

[NOTE: The Raw Leadership Experience™ is an immersive leadership learning experience while engaging in a hands-on team-building activity. Studies show that learning is deeper, more meaningful, and longer-lasting when tied to visceral, experiential learning. We create programs to stimulate out-of-the-box thinking, foster higher-level processing, and connections between the activity experience and “real life” leadership.]

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Teamwork Tagged With: canoes, lead by example, leaders, leadership, Michigan, Servant Leadership, service, teamwork, The Raw Leadership Experience

Leadership Attribute: Authenticity over Perfection

September 26, 2016 by Heidi Frye

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In an attempt to capitalize on a gorgeous end-of-summer day, I spent a recent afternoon on a Lake Michigan beach. Taking a break from my computer work, closing my eyes to breathe in the gorgeous sunshine and the (salt-free!) water, I felt something hit my leg…almost like a crumpled piece of paper. I looked up and there was a butterfly! Sitting on my leg!! I was stunned (seriously, when was the last time a butterfly came and sat on your leg??!). I inched my way up to grab my phone/camera a foot away, and took a few pics, amazed that it was still on my leg – this phenomena lasted for a full 5 minutes! After the shock of “there’s a butterfly on my leg!!!!” I noticed it had a torn wing, almost half the size of the “good wing”. Maybe that was the reason it was hanging around…maybe it couldn’t fly? But alas, with a bit less grace than a typical (perfect) butterfly, it flew away and was beautifully (authentically) still a butterfly…providing me with more joy than any other butterfly had.

Many leadership clients resist flying until they are “perfect”…not wanting to show their imperfections, not wanting to risk exposing their metaphorical torn wing. Not wanting to be vulnerable. Leadership requires courage and risk. Leadership gives leaders a great opportunity, and responsibility, to touch others with their greatness (and instilling joy!). That greatness requires a little vulnerability, courage, and risk. Ask best-selling author Brene Brown, who put “vulnerability” in her Leadership Manifesto! And, as stated by Anderson/Adams in Mastering Leadership, “There is no safe way to be great…Transformation requires courage…Authenticity is highly correlated to Leadership Effectiveness (.80), to Purposeful Visionary (.82), to Teamwork (.68) and to Business Performance (.50).” Yes, the research supports a business case for cultivating and leveraging authenticity. In The Truth About Leadership, Kouzes & Posner rank authenticity attributes like belief in self; credibility, values; trust; commitment; grittiness; and passion (they call it love – seeing the greatness in others) in their Top Ten.

What gets in the way is our ego. Measuring ourselves against a perceived yardstick. Fear. Fear of being “less than”. I’ll clue you in on something…the number of leaders who are afraid they’ll be “found out” is staggering. Your people aren’t expecting perfection. They are craving (and expecting) authenticity. They are craving your inner torn-winged butterfly, who is still fully, authentically a butterfly.

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Personality, Uncategorized Tagged With: Authenticity, Brene Brown, butterfly, commitment, credibility, grittiness, Lake Michigan, leadership, Leadership Manifesto, passion, perfection, The Truth About Leadership, trust, values, vulnerability

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