One of my clients suffered a devastating loss – a house fire. Yes, the family is safe. A few personal items were salvaged, but most of the house needs to be gutted. The furniture is gone, as is the roof over their heads. Unimaginable!!! When I received her call, I was inspired by her attitude! She chose to handle the situation by not focusing on the uncontrollable aspects but instead focusing on the controllable – her attitude. She focused on the “silver lining”…and moving forward. The silver lining???
“We are just so glad we are going through this with each other. We are bonding on a whole new level and our relationship has become so strong”
They sent out an email letting people know they were OK and turning their attention to dreaming about the new-and-improved-rebuilt house! Wow!!
This family’s ability…no, “choice”, to re-frame their situation was incredible….and liberating…and healthy.
I encounter many people who are busy telling themselves “a story” – almost always limiting their potential outcome. These stories prevent them from moving on – prevent them from being the best version of themselves. We all have a choice. Often we have no control over a given situation, but we can impact the outcome by choosing to change our perspective or reaction. In an excerpt from The Success Principles, author Jack Canfield uses an equation to illustrate this concept,
E + R = O: E (event) + R (reaction) = O (Outcome).
I love this! Whether sitting in traffic, looking for a job, or dealing with a house fire, you have a choice!! You can grumble about the cars and go home stressed out, or deal with it by looking forward to “traffic time” by listening to an audio book, or merely “unwind”. My client made a choice. She decided to change her “R” for a better “O” – looking for the silver lining instead of letting this event define her. She will get past this, she will move on.