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What does your leadership say about you?

March 7, 2018 by Heidi Frye

Many business travelers know this feeling…realizing you just missed your connection by 20 minutes at the end of the night, in the middle of a snowstorm, with no hotels left in the area. leadership

I just rescheduled my connecting flight for an early morning departure. Bummer. After asking the ticket agent if there was a spot for stranded travelers, I was directed to a huge pile of mattresses, blankets, and pillows in a big heap at the end of the concourse. I collected my loot and asked another woman for the “best place to sleep” – she winked and directed me to a quiet little secret hideaway on the concourse balcony. Up the stairs I climbed with my mattress, pillow, blanket, purse, and backpack in hand. Out-of-breath, I chose “my spot” – not one of the fellow straggler-travelers glanced in my direction. In an effort to change the dynamic, I dropped my belongings and immediately began introducing myself to my new roommates. Nearest me were Steve, Hannah, and ticked-off grumpy guy.

In terms of airport-overnight stays, I hit the jackpot! An outlet for my devices, chairs to act as a wall, a mattress (vs. a cot – once upon a time in O’Hare…awful!), and a “trust buddy” in Steve (Steve and I made a pact to watch out for each other on bathroom runs, etc.). Right now, sitting on these two chairs with my feet up, I really couldn’t be too much more comfortable in my own living room – that’s what I’m telling myself anyway. It’s all good. Let’s see what I say in the morning – LOL.

In these situations I love the leadership metaphors that emerge! Here are a few from tonight:

  • Trust is a visceral, gut-level, instinctual thing – Standing in line to rebook connections for our 3-4 hour-delayed flight – the young woman behind me, who had barely spoken a word, looked up at me and said “when we get into MN, I live 10 minutes from the airport – you are welcome to stay in the spare bedroom – you can Uber back in the morning to catch your connecting flight.” I laughed, suggesting she was being a bit hasty to invite a stranger into her home, and she responded, “No…I can tell, you’re a good person. You’re welcome to come over if you want.” Unfortunately we lost each other after the flight, but the gesture was not lost on me. Tia, my hero! I so appreciated her trust in me (it was mutual :)).
  • How you conduct yourself in a crisis says everything about you as a leader – Need I say more? We’ve all seen the range of behaviors at the airport…
  • A common goal or situation can bring people together if rallied. But until rallied, they are just individuals experiencing the same situation.
  • People generally don’t trust (or like) grumpy/negative people…or leaders – Everyone steered clear of grumpy guy – I know I felt his bad energy and definitely avoided him. We had this cool vibe going with the other passengers coming together, and he did not fit in. At some point in the middle-of-the-night he disappeared. Our energy speaks louder than our words!
  • Unaware people/team members can negatively impact the team. This section of the airport is designated as a “quiet area”. Travelers are attempting to sleep (it is midnight after all) and the influx of unaware late-comers is disruptive and rude at best…loud sarcastic comments (man, this sucks…living the dream!) and lengthy phone conversations (go in the hallway!). Clueless.
  • Put yourself out there and do the right thing – AND – Human kindness is our default mode. When I introduced myself and suggested we be “trust/watch-your-stuff-buddies”, the look of relief was palpable…often times, others are “thinking the same thing” but are afraid to speak up. My new buddy Steve, and I, took care of each other…nothing like shared subs, apples, and toothpaste to say “I care.” And again, Tia.

Whether traveling across the country, or traveling into your office…what does your leadership say about you?

Filed Under: Communication, Culture, Leadership, Life, Uncategorized Tagged With: airport, Authenticity, common goal, do the right thing, human kindness, leadership, rally cry, travelers, trust, unaware leaders, visceral

Courage to be YOU

December 31, 2016 by Heidi Frye

Amidst the seasonal hubbub, a dear friend invited me to a holiday concert featuring soprano soloist  and new acquaintance Diane Penning, as well as a local choir group. Wanting to experience Diane’s music, I surrendered to the commitment – it was certainly a “plop” in the middle of my last-weekend-before-Christmas-to-get-things-done stress – and said “yes”. The venue, St. Andrew’s Cathedral, was beautiful. We settled into our fourth row seats for an hour of Christmas music (after all…how many school concerts had I endured? I could do one more…). As the choir began, I was surprised and moved by how incredibly beautiful they sounded (jaded by too many school concerts??). And, they were interesting to watch! One woman in particular stood out to me, singing v-e-r-y enthusiastically – swaying, gyrating, head bobbing to the beat. I chuckled at how out-of-place and silly she looked. My gaze left her and surveyed the rest of the choir. But there was something that drew me back to her. I was fascinated. And then the oddest thing happened. A tear slide down my face. And then another. And another. Had the music broken through my holiday-stress armor? …what else could it be? No, It was something about that woman. I suddenly saw her beauty! Oh my gosh, it is her unbridled, unabashed, unapologetic sense of who she was! She was joyfully, confidently, proudly, sharing her joy. She had the courage to be authentically herself!

Countless leadership annals point to the link between courage and authenticity. The Grossman Group refers to it as quiet courage versus Rambo Courage – “a courage that comes from deep inside”. Forbes contributor Tardanico sites how “courageous leaders” are in short supply, and how necessary they are in modern-time work-place stress. John Terry’s book title alone points to the correlation, Authentic Leadership – Courage in Action. Harvard Business Review’s author, Bill George, in his article Discovering Your Authentic Leadership, gives us good news…anyone can learn to be an authentic leader.  “Authentic leaders…work hard at developing self-awareness through persistent and often courageous self-exploration.”

In the same HBR article the author makes a case that authentic leadership is the reason behind sustained long-term results(!).  Even if short-term gains are achieved, minus authenticity, sustained long-term success is not possible. So my question to you is: Do you have the courage to be you?! Do you have the courage to lead authentically from that quiet place within…leading confidently, joyfully, proudly, and maybe even sharing your joy. I am grateful to the out-of-place, silly looking, beautiful woman who had the courage to be her authentic self…inspiring me to do the same. To be me.

 

 

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Personality Tagged With: authentic leader, Authenticity, courage, Diane Penning, holiday concert, leadership, long-term results, soprano, St. Andrew's Cathedral

Leadership Attribute: Authenticity over Perfection

September 26, 2016 by Heidi Frye

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In an attempt to capitalize on a gorgeous end-of-summer day, I spent a recent afternoon on a Lake Michigan beach. Taking a break from my computer work, closing my eyes to breathe in the gorgeous sunshine and the (salt-free!) water, I felt something hit my leg…almost like a crumpled piece of paper. I looked up and there was a butterfly! Sitting on my leg!! I was stunned (seriously, when was the last time a butterfly came and sat on your leg??!). I inched my way up to grab my phone/camera a foot away, and took a few pics, amazed that it was still on my leg – this phenomena lasted for a full 5 minutes! After the shock of “there’s a butterfly on my leg!!!!” I noticed it had a torn wing, almost half the size of the “good wing”. Maybe that was the reason it was hanging around…maybe it couldn’t fly? But alas, with a bit less grace than a typical (perfect) butterfly, it flew away and was beautifully (authentically) still a butterfly…providing me with more joy than any other butterfly had.

Many leadership clients resist flying until they are “perfect”…not wanting to show their imperfections, not wanting to risk exposing their metaphorical torn wing. Not wanting to be vulnerable. Leadership requires courage and risk. Leadership gives leaders a great opportunity, and responsibility, to touch others with their greatness (and instilling joy!). That greatness requires a little vulnerability, courage, and risk. Ask best-selling author Brene Brown, who put “vulnerability” in her Leadership Manifesto! And, as stated by Anderson/Adams in Mastering Leadership, “There is no safe way to be great…Transformation requires courage…Authenticity is highly correlated to Leadership Effectiveness (.80), to Purposeful Visionary (.82), to Teamwork (.68) and to Business Performance (.50).” Yes, the research supports a business case for cultivating and leveraging authenticity. In The Truth About Leadership, Kouzes & Posner rank authenticity attributes like belief in self; credibility, values; trust; commitment; grittiness; and passion (they call it love – seeing the greatness in others) in their Top Ten.

What gets in the way is our ego. Measuring ourselves against a perceived yardstick. Fear. Fear of being “less than”. I’ll clue you in on something…the number of leaders who are afraid they’ll be “found out” is staggering. Your people aren’t expecting perfection. They are craving (and expecting) authenticity. They are craving your inner torn-winged butterfly, who is still fully, authentically a butterfly.

Filed Under: Leadership, Life, Personality, Uncategorized Tagged With: Authenticity, Brene Brown, butterfly, commitment, credibility, grittiness, Lake Michigan, leadership, Leadership Manifesto, passion, perfection, The Truth About Leadership, trust, values, vulnerability

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