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The Gift of Feedback

April 30, 2017 by Heidi Frye

 

feedback

It’s a broad-sweeping statement but based on my experience, most leaders (heck, most people!) do not have an accurate awareness of their impact on others…not surprisingly, underestimating it. In working with hundreds of business leaders, very few understand the depth and breadth of their impact. Yes, many do have an awareness of their less positive attributes, but many do not truly understand the ramifications on the people, the business, or the culture. Disengagement, misunderstandings, fear to speak up, passive agreement…all outcomes that hit the bottom-line.

As a kid, I remember one night over dinner, my father who owned his own business, recounted a less-than-favorable interaction with “a regular”. This particular customer had come in to complain about how a random-careless-human-act had negatively impacted her experience and ultimately the product. As only three devoted and vocal daughters could do, in high-pitched hysteria we went into full-on protective mode, “how dare she…what was she thinking…that is so terrible…how mean…!!!”, when my father signaled for us to “pipe down”. He told us how she had been his best customer that day…how impressed he was that she had come in to speak to him…how grateful he was. Wait. What??! In the words of Dad, “if she hadn’t given me that feedback, I wouldn’t be able to fix my business – make it better…how would I ever know? How many other customers, who don’t say anything, would never come back in? I would have lost their business without a chance! Because of her feedback, I can improve. It was a gift.”

Hmph. Hadn’t thought of it that way. Yep, Dad reframed feedback for me. A lesson that has lasted a lifetime.

When clients get the “gift of feedback” (whether from peers, their manager, friends, their team, or their coach!), are able to put their ego on pause to really hear what is being said, and take it to heart (this is key!), they experience huge growth.

Feedback is not easy to deliver, it takes great courage to give, and is most often, intended to help. It is a gift. How to respond? No rebuttals. No defensiveness. A mere “thank-you” is appropriate.

The rest is on you.

Filed Under: Communication, Leadership, Life, Uncategorized Tagged With: awareness, business, Dad, ego, feedback, growth, impact on others, leaders, leadership

Renew, Reengage, Re-fresh –  The Better Version of YOU Requires Letting Go!

February 11, 2016 by Heidi Frye

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We’re at the front end of 2016. Isn’t there something fantastic about “a fresh start”? Something hopeful. Something neat and clean. The possibilities are endless. I don’t know about you, but this time of year is exciting for that very reason!

The UPwords Inc. logo and website underwent a major refresh mid-December, and thank-you Gretchen Devault @ TinyBlueSky  (http://www.tinybluesky.com) for incorporating my love for changing-it-up, clean slate, and refresh-ing into the new logo – love it! As I work with leadership and high-potential teams, this hopefulness of refresh-ing is the essence of what occurs. Leaders discover new aspects of themselves – they dust off and clean up old habits and limiting beliefs that no longer serve, and emerge renewed. A better version of themselves.

In most cases, “the better version of you” requires letting go. Giving up control is not typically a preferred go-to strategy. Time and time again, it amazes me the good that comes out of “loosening the grip” – leaders discover parts of themselves that wouldn’t/couldn’t happen when they hold on too fiercely to “the old self” (ego??). Development requires vulnerability, trust, exposure, and openness to new/change. Even as I write this, I’m waiting for a development team to walk in to begin our day’s meeting which, to be successful, will require these qualities – The Open 360ºFeedback Process™! Fortunately because they’ve been primed by other teams who’ve gone through the process, they’re actually excited to delve into “feedback” – sparking shifts in their development and perceptions of “self”!!

I had my own I-want-to-resist moment when we refreshed the website – specifically the pictures. We were taking photos in the Grand Rapids Downtown Market building, and the photographer (thank-you Rachelle Wakeman @ Rachelle Rae Photography – www.rachelleraephotography.com) suggested we go out on the rooftop. I was wary. It was a windy windy day, and it didn’t seem conducive to taking professional photos (you know, it wasn’t a “controlled” environment!).  She asked me to trust her. My perfectly coiffed hair was blowing all over the place (some of the outtakes were ridiculous), the bathroom was too far away to “freshen up”, and she asked me to get into some awkward-and-not-so-natural poses. In my head, I was  definitely resisting. If you could read my “thought-bubble” it would say “Are you kidding??! This is definitely not going to work!” Then, I looked at her, trusted, and let go. Settled into the possibility. Alas, she snapped one of my favorite photos.

Fantastic things can happen when we let go, trust, and let “it” unfold.

Hope you’ve had a great start to the new year and best wishes for a “re-freshing” year!

Filed Under: Communication, Leadership, Life, Personality, Uncategorized Tagged With: ego, feedback, Gretchen Devault, leaders, leadership, letting go, losing control, Rachelle Rae Photography, Rachelle Wakeman, re-fresh, reengagement, renew reengage, resistance, teams, The Open 360 Feedback Process, TinyBlueSky

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Spectrum Health Physician

“I have to admit I was a little skeptical when I first learned that we were to have this type of team meeting [Open 360 Feedback Process], but it definitely exceeded my expectations…You did a fabulous job with us and… Read more “Spectrum Health Physician”

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Spectrum Health
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David Purpura

“I wanted to share this and tell you how much you have helped me in my career in so many ways.  Your knowledge of the industry and mentoring is among the best and I hope that we remain professional contacts!!!!!! … Read more “David Purpura”

David Purpura
Director of U.S. Business Development
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Larry Gibbons

“I have worked with many executive search firms across the USA and Canada. Upwords Inc. has proven to be among the best, coming through where others have failed to meet our needs…Heidi Frye has demonstrated her ability to understand our… Read more “Larry Gibbons”

Larry Gibbons
VP HR, Kinectrics Inc.
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Linda M. Peasley, Ph.D. & Sally A. Camper

“The Department of Human Genetics would like to thank you for presenting the ‘Dealing with Conflicts’ workshop last weekend at our annual retreat…Our graduate students certainly appreciated the various exercises and, most of all, the role playing…The interactions with faculty,… Read more “Linda M. Peasley, Ph.D. & Sally A. Camper”

Linda M. Peasley, Ph.D. & Sally A. Camper
Department Administrator Prof. and Chair,The University of Michigan Medical School, Department of Human Genetics
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Matt Schad

“…Nucraft has worked with Heidi to create internal peer groups to improve our internal communications and teamwork skills…Heidi facilitates these groups and the feedback has been uniformly positive from the participants…Heidi and UPwords Inc. have become a trusted Nucraft advisor.”

Matt Schad
CEO, Nucraft Furniture
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Julie L. Novak

“I started working with Heidi about 18 months into my tenure as CEO, and …I soon realized it was essential to my growth as a leader. In the early days, she put a variety of concepts and tools in my… Read more “Julie L. Novak”

Julie L. Novak
Chief Executive Officer, Michigan State Medical Society
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J.C.

“In one sentence:  Heidi made me a better leader, employee, spouse and friend…Heidi is an outstanding coach that helped me achieve more than I thought I could, in a short period of time.”

J.C.
Director of Marketing, Meijer
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Suzette Jaskie

“What a great asset Heidi has been to our team…Heidi in essence became part of our team and was able to assist key leaders in advancing their leadership approach and in turn – able to produce better results for the… Read more “Suzette Jaskie”

Suzette Jaskie
President and CEO of MedAxiom Consulting (Former CEO at West Michigan Heart)
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Juli B.

“Working with Heidi was one of the most rewarding experiences in my career.  I am a better leader, co-worker and person…She has been one of the most influential people in my life.  I would recommend her expertise to anyone inspired to invest in advancing their career… Read more “Juli B.”

Juli B.
C.F.O.
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Melvin Gottschalk, Jr.

“Pat Riley said ‘Great effort springs naturally from great attitude.’ Heidi Frye’s executive coaching enlightened me to the truth behind these words…I would not be where I am today without Heidi and highly recommend her leadership coaching to anyone focused on… Read more “Melvin Gottschalk, Jr.”

Melvin Gottschalk, Jr.
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Lori Stokes

“I have reached out to Heidi during the many phases of my management career for leadership coaching.  Her advice and wisdom has helped me identify ways to grow professionally as a individual and leader.  She is  honest, professional, and highly… Read more “Lori Stokes”

Lori Stokes
Materials Manager
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Stephan W. Waltman

“I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for the service that you have provided Stiles Machinery for the last 15 years. Your contributions…have been immeasurable…Personally, I feel privileged to have had access to your advice and counsel. We… Read more “Stephan W. Waltman”

Stephan W. Waltman
Vice President of Sales & Marketing, Stiles Machinery, Inc.
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